How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Long-term owners

In that light, it was fantastic. Almost 30 years later, I still quote from it.

May 2026 · comment

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Every quote

The 40 most detailed of 111 comments. Each links to the original.

1. My father gave me this book when I was 12 or 13. It unlocked everything, sort of permission for my teen self to put himself out there.

   Recommends · May 2026 · in “Talking to 35 Strangers at the Gym”

2. I never became Mr. Popular but found it very helpful in trying to understand somethings that were unobtainable for me at the time.

   Recommends · May 2026 · in “Talking to 35 Strangers at the Gym”

3. his philosophy is firmly based on genuine good faith and delivering disproportionally high value to the people you interact with

   Recommends · Jun 2026 · in “Has AI already killed self-help nonfiction books?”

4. It was like a manual on how to handle myself in social situations, a thing that was mysterious and frustrating to me before.

   Recommends · May 2026 · in “Talking to 35 Strangers at the Gym”

5. Nothing magical in it, but quite useful, and for somebody as young as you are it could have a big impact over the lifetime.

   Recommends · Dec 2025 · in “Loneliness at 19, How to Cope?”

6. I was given this book as a shy kid. I've read it multiple times. It really should be titled, "How To be a Decent Human".

   Recommends · May 2026 · in “Talking to 35 Strangers at the Gym”

7. It dated considerably, considering how women are way independent nowadays, even if at the time it was relevant.

   Mixed · May 2026 · in “Talking to 35 Strangers at the Gym”

8. I got a real sociopathic vibe from many of the points and especially how the author was talking about them.

   Mixed · Nov 2025 · in “My stages of learning to be a socially normal person”

9. HTWFAIP is about building authentic, mutually beneficial relationships with people, not shining them on.

   Recommends · Jun 2026 · in “Has AI already killed self-help nonfiction books?”

10. It was less sleazy than I expected from the title. It actually had a lot of points about being genuine

    Recommends · Nov 2025 · in “My stages of learning to be a socially normal person”

11. The first self help book that actually helped me was How to make friends and influence people.

    Recommends · Jun 2026 · in “Has AI already killed self-help nonfiction books?”

12. the advice is timeless and eye opening if you don't have natural knack for dealing with people

    Recommends · Aug 2026 · in “Ask HN: If I am 16 what should I learn? Which books should read?”

13. Just be honest with people is what that book taught me. I highly recommend people reading it.

    Recommends · Jun 2026 · in “Has AI already killed self-help nonfiction books?”

14. to really have the other person's interests at heart, not to try to scam or game them.

    Recommends · Jun 2026 · in “Has AI already killed self-help nonfiction books?”

15. The unrevised edition as on this website is complete without exclusions and edits.

    Recommends · May 2026 · in “Talking to 35 Strangers at the Gym”

16. In that light, it was fantastic. Almost 30 years later, I still quote from it.

    Recommends · May 2026 · in “Talking to 35 Strangers at the Gym”

17. this was incredibly helpful because little pieces of advise really do work

    Recommends · Oct 2026 · in “Americans' social activity has steeply declined in the past 30 years”

18. They come across as un-authentic and sycophantic. It's a book that is popular for all the wrong reasons

    Criticizes · Oct 2026 · in “Ask HN: I Need Advice”

19. this book has a shadow side, and that that shadow side can manifest even if the book warns against it

    Criticizes · Oct 2026 · in “Ask HN: I Need Advice”

20. the title and parts of the book suggest reducing human connections to utility and personal gain

    Criticizes · May 2026 · in “Talking to 35 Strangers at the Gym”

21. the core of the book is all about getting people to say yes and do things you want them to do

    Criticizes · May 2026 · in “Talking to 35 Strangers at the Gym”

22. It is a dated, salesy, conflict-averse (to the point of dishonesty) way of communicating.

    Criticizes · Jun 2026 · in “Has AI already killed self-help nonfiction books?”

23. The whole book is centred aruond an underlying desire to gain something from someone.

    Criticizes · May 2026 · in “Talking to 35 Strangers at the Gym”

24. forcefully makes the language of the book gender neutral and politically correct

    Criticizes · May 2026 · in “Talking to 35 Strangers at the Gym”

25. I used to be a big fan of HtWFaIP, but eventually I realized it's not healthy.

    Criticizes · May 2026 · in “Talking to 35 Strangers at the Gym”

26. I have learnt a ton of lessons from self help books like the one I mentioned above, Arete, "how to make friends and influence people"

    Recommends · Mar 2026 · in “The Self-Help Trap: What 20 Years of "Optimizing" Has Taught Me”

27. Something surprising about How to Win Friends and Influence People is that it’s not as manipulative as the title suggests.

    Recommends · May 2026 · in “Talking to 35 Strangers at the Gym”

28. The name spam phenomenon turned me off, but if it preaches compliments without expectations it must be my kind of book

    Mixed · May 2026 · in “Talking to 35 Strangers at the Gym”

29. Books which can help you: Atomic Habits, How to win friends and influence people, How to measure your life, Deep work.

    Recommends · Oct 2026 · in “Ask HN: I Need Advice”

30. In entrepreneurship, this was slightly dangerous to me, since I immediately started implementing this successfully.

    Mixed · Jul 2026 · in “Why I Stopped Arguing with People”

31. humans are really good at telling if you genuinely care about them or not and will respond well to that

    Recommends · May 2026 · in “Talking to 35 Strangers at the Gym”

32. It reminds me of one of my favorite parts of How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

    Recommends · May 2026 · in “Talking to 35 Strangers at the Gym”

33. I certainly think you could do much worse than treating others according to how that book instructs.

    Recommends · May 2026 · in “Talking to 35 Strangers at the Gym”

34. your phrasing needs a lot of work. I recommend the Dale Carnegie books on communicating with others

    Recommends · Aug 2026 · in “U.S. State Department pauses immigrant visa applications”

35. That book is very good. However, for some (including me at some point), it can be a bit advanced

    Mixed · May 2026 · in “Talking to 35 Strangers at the Gym”

36. it felt like a guide for well-intentioned people to learn how to express that more effectively

    Recommends · May 2026 · in “Talking to 35 Strangers at the Gym”

37. I found it helpful, and it was a useful exercise to translate it into modern terms for myself

    Recommends · Jan 2026 · in “How to Win Friends and Influence People: Unrevised Version”

38. It's great in its simplicity. In a way, it's kind of a sneaky way to make a wholesome point.

    Recommends · May 2026 · in “Talking to 35 Strangers at the Gym”

39. These tips gots me friends and girlfriends, one of her lasted 11years and still counting.

    Recommends · May 2026 · in “Am I a Bad Friend?”

40. One of the best things I read which genuinely has impact (I think) on me is the book

    Recommends · Dec 2025 · in “Rob Pike Goes Nuclear over GenAI”