Blorp Language
Shares rank 133 of 163 programming languages by recommenders
Free language people like for allowing local mutation and loops inside pure functions for speed. Critics call it largely vibe-coded and question its mandatory indentation.
Free language people like for allowing local mutation and loops inside pure functions for speed. Critics call it largely vibe-coded and question its mandatory indentation.
10 people gave an opinion
- recommend it
- 6
- criticize it
- 4
- approval share
- 60%
Recommended in 2 of 13 months
- November 2025: not recommended
- December 2025: not recommended
- January 2026: not recommended
- February 2026: not recommended
- March 2026: not recommended
- April 2026: not recommended
- May 2026: recommended
- June 2026: recommended
- July 2026: not recommended
- August 2026: not recommended
- September 2026: not recommended
- October 2026: not recommended
- November 2026: not recommended (month in progress)
Why it doesn’t carry the badge
- 6 people recommend itNeeds 10 or more, not met.
- 1.5 recommenders for every criticNeeds 2 to 1 or better, not met.
- Recommended in 2 of 13 monthsNeeds 4 or more, not met.
The same three rules apply to every product, and the badge can’t be bought. How the badge works
What people say about it
The reasons people give, with the number of comments that give each one. Open a reason to read what they said.
Why people recommend it
Each mark is one comment
Fast despite pure-function style
“it also allows local mutation and loops inside pure functions, so performance doesn't need to be left on the table in most cases”
Comment from 3 Jun 2026 in “Blorp Language” “Under the hood blorp optimizes that away for the functions we can.”
Comment from 3 Jun 2026 in “Blorp Language” Pleasant, familiar syntax like Ruby
“Feels like CoffeeScript for C, in the best way”
Comment from 1 Jun 2026 in “Blorp Language” “I like it. Reminds me of ruby.”
Comment from 1 Jun 2026 in “Blorp Language”
What people warn about
Each mark is one comment
Reportedly largely vibe-coded
“The whole thing is 400k lines vibecoded over 3 weeks”
Comment from 1 Jun 2026 in “Blorp Language” “I can guarantee you the whole thing is vibe coded.”
Comment from 1 Jun 2026 in “Blorp Language”
Other programming languages people recommend
The four most recommended other programming languages, with the same counts for each, so you can compare like for like. The tick on each bar marks the 2 to 1 line the badge needs.
See all 163 programming languages, rankedWhat people said
11 of the 12 comments that mention it, newest first. Each links to the original comment.
“I like all those features!”
“it also allows local mutation and loops inside pure functions, so performance doesn't need to be left on the table in most cases”
“Under the hood blorp optimizes that away for the functions we can.”
“I can guarantee you the whole thing is vibe coded.”
“The whole thing is 400k lines vibecoded over 3 weeks”
“If it's a mistake, that's not encouraging.”
“Readable syntax with mandatory indentation is a very questionable idea.”
“Feels like CoffeeScript for C, in the best way”
“I like it. Reminds me of ruby.”
“this has proven to a big footgun for many devs in both java streams and typescript”
“which doesn't give me much as to how you handle shared memory, safety, deadlocks, etc.”
Counts come from 1,795,640 Hacker News comments, November 2025 to November 2026. How we count. Report a mistake.